Sex toys in bed are a great way to add a new twist to foreplay and sex. But bringing them up can be tricky.
It’s important to communicate with your partner about your sex needs and desires. Talking about them in a relaxed and open manner is the best way to improve your sex experience.
Table of Contents
- Start with a conversation
- Keep the play about you
- Don’t make it about him
- What’s the Best Sex Toy For You?
- Sex Game For Couples
Start with a conversation
Sex toys are an excellent way to spice up your bedroom life. They can be anything from a cock ring to g-spot vibrators, or even bondage gear. You can even use them to experiment with oral play if you’d like.
If you’re wondering how to introduce sex toys in bed, start by asking your partner about their ideas. They may want to try a new toy with you, or they might be interested in trying one of the ones you’re currently using together.
Talking about their preferences, and then introducing your own toy, is a great way to get them on board with the idea of exploring sex toys in bed. It’s also a great way to build excitement and curiosity.
However, if your partner is nervous or unsure about sex toys in bed, it’s best to approach the conversation gently before you try them in the bedroom. Ask them how they feel about the concept, and if they’re feeling excited, anxious, or ready to explore it together.
Another way to get your partner on board with sex toys in bed is to show them some examples of how they work on other people. Whether it’s a romance book where the couple uses a sex toy, or a friend’s experience with one, this will give your partner a positive image of how sex toys can be used in the bedroom.
Once you’ve got your partner onboard, it’s time to actually try it out together. This is a great opportunity to learn more about each other’s expectations for sex, and it will also help you decide what kind of toys you need to look for.
If you are unsure how to start the conversation, you can always invite them to think of a toy they’ve always wanted to try out. It’s a great way to level the playing field and find out what they enjoy most about sexual play, too.
In a relationship, there’s no perfect time to broach the idea of sex toys in bed. Many couples do it months or years down the line when they’re more comfortable talking about their sexual preferences.
Keep the play about you
There’s a fine line between introducing sex toys in bed and allowing them to be the sole focus of your sex time. It’s tempting to bring your partner a new toy to see if they’ll like it, but experts suggest that you try and keep the play about you rather than the toy. If you make the toy your partner’s sole attention, it can be a turn-off and create anxiety for them, says Georgia Fosnight, a licensed therapist in Toronto.
Instead, she suggests bringing the toy into your bed, showing them how you use it and guiding them through the experience with verbal and physical guidance. This is a great way to get your partner sexy and enthralled with the toys you’re sharing together. You can then continue the conversation about how you’re both enjoying the experience and if there’s anything else your partner would like to explore.
Don’t make it about him
The best way to go about introducing sex toys in bed is to keep them light and playful. This is a smart idea because it’ll help avoid any awkward moments. If you do decide to whip out the pink furry handcuffs, make sure your partner knows exactly what to expect. It’s also a good idea to test the waters by playing with a dummy before whipping out the real thing. This will show him that the sex toys in bed are about you, not him.
What’s the Best Sex Toy For You?
The best sex toys in bed for you depends on what you like and how much you’re willing to spend. Whether you’re an experienced sex toy user or looking to splurge, there are plenty of options out there.
If you’re a beginner, try to pick a sex toy that’s easy to use. You don’t want to waste your money on a toy that won’t work for you.
Get a wand vibrator
The classic wand vibrator is a great first-time sex toy, and there are many versions to choose from. The most famous is the Magic Wand, which is a long handle with a bulbous tip that’s popular among women who want direct clitoral contact.
Alternatively, there are many wand vibes on the market that are specifically designed to mimic the thrusting power of a penis. These are often dildos or rabbit vibes that are more expensive than their simple-looking counterparts, but they offer a more immersive experience.
A spongy ring is also a good choice for people who find penetrative toys painful to use. These bumpers slide down the shaft of a spongy penis to physically prohibit it from going too deeply inside a vaginal canal or anal canal, and they can be incredibly satisfying (even when they’re not slapping).
Another option is a double-ended dildo, such as the Fun Factory Share Lite ($120), which can be used for solo play with a partner or for hands-free pleasure. The two parts of the dildo are hinged so that they can be placed side-by-side, and they’re G-spot friendly.
Sex Game For Couples
Sex games for couples can be a fun way to spice things up in the bedroom. They’re also a great way to try out new sexual activities and create an open line of communication.
The most important part of a good game is to have fun, says sexologist Jennifer Litner, LMFT, CST, founder of Chicago-based wellness center Embrace Sexual Wellness. You can play with a partner, or with your friends or family.
“It’s an easy and incredibly sexy way to get your imagination running wild, while also giving you something to work toward with your partner,” she says. It’s a great way to bring up questions or fantasies you might have been too nervous to share before, and it’s a great way to get creative with your foreplay.
What’s more, it can be used over time to build a sense of intimacy and connection. Each day, you’ll have a new challenge, which could be anything from dressing up in suggestive lingerie to getting your lover in the shower to gently caressing their body.
Another fun way to spice things up is with a game called X Marks the Spot, which requires you and your partner to kiss each other’s bodies until they find the X on one of your bodies. It’s a great way to get every inch of your partner’s body worshipped, and it’s especially exciting when you’re doing it with your hands involved.
Another sex game that’s sure to be thrilling is Sex dice, which uses a pair of dice to get sexy combinations. You can play this with your partner or with friends, and it’s a great way for everyone to have some fun together while putting on a show while introducing sex toys in bed.
Is it OK to use toys in bed?
Many couples are unsure about whether it’s OK to use sex toys in bed. They’re afraid it will make them look weird, or that they might hurt their partner’s feelings.
While some people consider using sex toys in bed to be taboo, there are a number of benefits that come with using them. They can help a couple to rekindle their passion and rediscover their sexuality in bed.
There’s a stigma around masturbation and sex toys, but it’s losing its hold. As such, it’s easier to talk about them and broach the idea of using them in a relationship.
One way to encourage your partner to try sex toys in bed is to communicate with them in the moment about what they want and how they’re feeling. As sex counselor Aleece Fosnight notes, it’s a good way to get them to open up and start talking about their desires and needs.
It’s also important to keep in mind that not all sex toys are the same. Some are designed to mimic specific sensations, while others are more complex and exciting.
If your partner is nervous about using sex toys in bed, you should first introduce them to a small toy so they see that it’s fun and exciting. This way, they’ll be more likely to try them out later on in the relationship.
There’s no perfect time to bring sex toys into the bedroom, but it’s definitely worth giving it a shot. It’s important to remember that a sex toy will not replace your real-life partner in the bedroom, so it’s better to wait until you and your partner have established a connection that is non-sexual.
How to convince your wife to use toys in bed?
You’re a modern man, and you want your wife to experience some of the sex toys in bed that bloggers rave about. But, if you’re not an experienced sex toy user, it can be intimidating and awkward to broach the topic.
Sex is a highly personal and intimate experience, so it’s important to be honest with your partner about what they want in their sex. That includes letting them know that you’d love to try some sex toys in bed out together — it can help them understand your desire and give you a sense of trust, explains certified sex therapist Aleece Fosnight, L.M.F.T.
Talking about sex toys with your partner is a great way to get them on board and make sex fun. Start by asking them how they feel about your sex life right now and then gently talking about your desires, if you’d like to try some sex toys out together.
Explore new toys with her (and vice versa): Leigh Threadgill, a licensed massage therapist who is also a sex educator, recommends going to a sex shop together and examining different types of sex toys. This can be an incredibly erotic activity for you and your partner, especially if it’s your first time buying a sex toy.
If you’re not sure which sex toy is right for your relationship, there are many guides online that can help you find a safe and effective option, she says. And, if you’re still not convinced, she suggests that you keep trying different sex toys in bed until you find the one that works best for you.